Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I'll Take Douche Bags for $2 Million, Alec



After bagging more than $2.5 million for being an unbeatable geek on Jeopardy, trivia-lord Ken Jennings is out. Ken was bounced by real estate agent/actress Nancy Zerg on yesterday's show.


Until Ken came along, I really didn’t know game shows still aired. Solving crossword puzzles for a three day cruise to Cancun or guessing the price of Sue Bee Honey ($4.49) for a Ford Fiesta seems droll when you can easily snag a million bucks for eating a cat uterus, trading in a spouse or pimpin’ your moms. But Ken’s nerdy reign single-handidly brought back old school game shows and pumped up Jeopardy viewership by 22 percent.


Ken writes trivia questions for a living (at least he did, before he won all that money and started getting laid). Technically, that makes him big, fat cheater. Still, he's head and shoulders above the usual pompous asses that answer the $200 questions with smirking condescension. Throughout his 73 game winning-streak, he remained pretty entertaining and even made me care about Norse mythology again. Ken would have made a good drinking buddy, with all the qualities I usually look for in friends – rich and less attractive than me.


And just when we were all wrapped up in a Ken lovefest, Nancy Zerg came along and ruined it all. If the producers were smart, they would give her a car and a year’s supply of JiffyPop Pop Corn and send her on her way, keeping Ken in place as a Hulk Hogan of trivia. Doesn't really matter though. Ms. Zerg turned out to be the Buster Douglas of Jeopardy contestants. Just 24 hours after dethroning the king of all answers, Nancy lost, taking home a total $14k.

So, for Final Jeopardy, the question is: Name of one who ends the longest winning streak in Jeopardy history as well as the only reason to watch the show.

Answer: What is a Douche Bag, Alec?