Conservative watchdog group and closet S&M freakniks Parents Television Council has made a startling discovery – MTV TARGETS TEENAGERS!
After watching and most likely masturbating himself silly through 171 hours of MTV Spring Break specials, PTC head prude Brent "Stop Calling Me Bozo" Bozell discovered that MTV shows cater to a younger audience, encouraging shopping at the Gap, excessive text messaging and screaming at the top of ones lungs when requesting Hoobastank’s rad new video. On an even darker side, Bozo found that MTV’s programming also featured lots of bleeped-out profanity (Puff Daddy), simulated sex (Nick and Jessica), lots of smoking (Puff Daddy), lots of drinking (Puff Daddy), and, on occasion, music.
Before the seven-day marathon began, Bozo stated, "There's no question that TV influences the attitudes and perceptions of young viewers, and MTV is deliberately marketing its raunch to millions of innocent children." And shortly after watching MTV programs for 171 hours straight, Bozo returned to say, "Aw shit yo! Check it. Dis sheeznit is wack, ya heard. Dem shows got me all thinkin’ bout nuttin’ but hos and herb. Now I gotta get to da club and party like it’s my birfday. Pour out the Cristal and pimp my ride with spinners on 20-inch doves. Shorty wanna ride wid me? Holla at cha boy, yo!"
How credible really is Bozo and the other PTC douche bags? The PTC just paid nearly $4 million to the World Wrestling Federation for lying about professional wrestling. Lying. About a fake sport. And word has that Bozo is watching a week’s worth of the Food Channel to prove that the programs cater to people who eat. So if you believe the Brent’s MTV study was anything more than an excuse to spend a week watching sixteen-year old girls dance in bikinis, then you just got Punk'd.
