The typical extracurricular activities of the Colorado native tend to leave them a little paranoid…and with a major case of the munchies. But mostly paranoid, as over-demonstrated by a real life cookie monster, Wanita Renea Young.
A 49-year old mental case, Wanita won $900 in a lawsuit against two young girls living in her neighborhood. On one particular evening, the girls, tired of going to school functions that promoted foul language, dry humping and Ashlee Simpson songs, decided to stay home and bake cookies for their neighbors. The little Martha Stewarts went door-to-door, leaving the cookies and little heart-shaped notes on the steps. One of their last stops was at 10:30 p.m….at half-baked Wanita’s house.
One of the many voices in Wanita’s head convinced her that the footsteps she heard on her front porch were Satan’s minions coming to take her back. Another told her it was the DEA. The girls knock on the door caused Wanita to flip out. She claims to have had an anxiety attack, and, eighteen hours later, decided to go see a doctor. The douche bag sued the girls for the cost of her visit, plus loss of a day’s wages from her job as a Wal-Mart cashier and the cost of a motion sensitive front porch light (which doubled as a mosquito zapper).
The judge, likely an old stoner himself, agreed to portions of Wanita’s delirium, saying that 10:30 was too late for the girls to be outside doing nice things for their neighbors. The judge felt that if the girls were going to stay out that late, they should be at a school function, cussing, dry humping and listening to Ashlee Simpson songs.
The girls still plan on practicing random acts of kindness. Thousands of dollars in donations have been sent in to pay off the $900 fine. And either cookie maker or porn star, Otis Spunkmeyer, has offered the girls their own business. Wanita, who had run-ins with neighbors and aliens before, is staying with relatives until girl scout cookie-season is over.
