Calling a congressman a douche bag is a redundant waste of time. Granted, Congress provides plenty of great douche bag material, and, had I the drive to update Douche Bag of the Day on an actual daily basis, I could write my fingers bloody. But there’s half a kajillion sites where you can read about politicians and the silly results of their affairs. There are lots of other douche bags out there that I wanted to write about. I vowed long ago that I would leave politicians alone.
Unless that guy does something really stupid.
May I introduce to you Senator Ted Stevens.
Senator Stevens, still stunned by Janet Jackson’s televised nipple flash tow-years ago has announced plans to introduce legislation calling for the same indecency standards that regulate boring public broadcasts to be applied to cable and satellite programs. That means no more Sopranos, no more Stern, no more South Park, Sex and the City, and Talk Sex with Dr. Sue Johanson.
And no Cinemax Late Nite.
The dweeby Senator is from Alaska, a place where good late night near-porn is needed the most. He states that "Cable is a much greater violator in the indecency area," and, "I think we have the same power to deal with cable as over-the-air broadcasts." What this little Eskimo forgets is that public broadcasts are free. The endless supply of Seinfeld reruns, the Wheel of Fortune and Law and Order: SUV don’t cost a thing. The boobies I see on Cinemax are bought and paid for. The cable company pimps out 270 channels of whatever I want to see for $100 a month. Sometimes it’s Shark Week. Sometimes it’s Trading Spaces. Most of the time it’s boobies.
The Senator can regulate TGIF and Must See TV all he wants. I get that for free with a clothes hanger and some tin foil. But Stevens crosses the line when he tries to regulate programming that people have paid out the ass to receive (plus the cost for cable boxes and creepy installation guys).
President Bush said that viewers should use their own judgement and if they don't want to see somehting, they should just "turn it off." So not only does Stevens want to trample all over individual freedoms, but now he's got the President sounding like the smart one. Way to go, douche bag.
