For the People’s Choice Awards this year, millions of people went online to cast votes for their favorite singers and actors. And like voting in Ohio, it didn’t do a damn bit of good.
Winners of the People's Choice Awards were supposed to be determined by online voting, with votes being tabulated until a few minutes before each award was handed out. But Mel Gibson, who made a movie about God, and Michael Moore, who thinks Mel Gibson made a movie about him, were told that they were receiving an award about 24 hours before the red carpet was rolled out. CBS maintains that it was still considered the people's People’s Choice Awards, but by people, they meant "the culture-savvy editors" at Entertainment Weekly (the same culture-savvy editors who tonight will discuss how the Brad & Jennifer breakup will effect tsunami relief efforts in India).
The new faux voting system wasn't the only change. Trying their best to pull off an Mtv style awards show, CBS’s PCAs featured a stage surrounded with lots of fans to help relieve Hollywood stodginess. That works well when Blink 182 wins Best Rock Video at the VMAs and there are lots of bouncing hotties in baby tees to give high fives on the way to the stage. It loses a lot of appeal when it’s Marg Helgenberger from CSI: Wisconsin pounding knuckles with old people in tuxes.
And if you Tivo’d the program, don’t skip the commercials or you’ll miss half the show, as Joey became a built in infomercial. Matt Le Blanc won for favorite male, favorite funny guy, favorite animated character, favorite female action star and favorite collaboration with Lil John and the Eastside Boyz. Then in a nailbitter, Le Blanc’s show Joey, currently being trounced in the ratings by According to Jim, edged out Father of the Pride (canceled) and Complete Savages (canceled) for best new comedy.
Apparently, the douche bags who put together the PCAs knew they had a loser when they decided to air it in the same time slot as Desperate Housewives, Lost, Extreme Makeover - Home Edition, a South Park re-run and a marathon of the The Surreal Life. Which begs the question...if you give Michael Moore an award and no one is there to see it, does it still count? I vote no.
