Pass the Grey Poupon, Douche Bag

What better way to ridicule President Bush's extravagant inauguration and his corporate-favoring fiscal policies than to rent a bunch of limos and throw a big, phat ass party!

While thousands of hippies are freezing their dreads off staking out a protest spot on DC's snow covered inaugural parade route, the Billionaires for Bush will be putting the final touches on their all-night ball, complete with Cristal, ice carvings, VIP rooms, Puff Daddy, hookers and coke. I'm already there! But why throw such a soiree? In the Billionaires' own words, "to expose politicians who support corporate interests at the expense of everyday Americans." And nothing exposes the President's and his corporate buddies' recklessly lavish spending like a $250 ticket to a party against recklessly lavish spending.

STOP THE PRESSES! I've just been informed by the New York Times, Washington Post, Time Magazine, CNN, FOX, NPR, ABC, CBS, St. Petersburg Times, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Detroit Free Press, Akron Beacon Journal, Las Vegas Review-Journal, Swank, Big Uns, Too Young and OUI that this is SATIRE. Billionaires for Bush uses satire, the thinking man's knock-knock joke, to get the point across that political greed and corporate waste are killing America. Apparently, a CEO from Halliburton who rents a limo and buys a $250 ticket to an inaugural ball is bad. He's greedy and evil. But when done satirically, well, it's not so bad. It's still a limo to a $250-per-person party where everyone's bejeweled and on a binge. But, again, done so "to expose politicians who support corporate interests at the expense of everyday Americans."

The Billionaires don't expect to ship any of the money made during their counter-inaugural ball to homeless tsunami victims. The theatrical troupe (unemployed actors) will be pocketing the cash, looking to load up on more satire (by satire, I mean more parties, coke and fancy things to shame the parties, coke and fancy things of those sans satire). I'm a big fan of satire. I also like puns and dirty limericks. But the Billionaires' gig isn't that funny. It pays too well, and they smell too good and wear too many bras to be real protestors. They're just douche bags between auditions who've found a way to make a living without waiting tables or eating scrotum on Fear Factor.