Marcia Cross’ last job came about ten years ago when the world’s largest forehead played a crazy on Melrose Place. Anna Nicole Smith wanna-be, Nicollete Sheridan, had her last big gig several decades ago when she played a ho on Knots Landing. Eva Longoria played a chihuahua on The Young and the Restless. Terri Hatcher’s last job goes back to the early 90’s, when she played Lois Lane on Lois and Clark. And the only major role Felicity Huffman has snagged is as the real-life wife of William H. Macy.
You would think that for such a motley crue of out-of-work actresses, they would be elated that not only can they afford to eat again, but that they are part of this year’s biggest television hit. Desperate Housewives dominated the media before the new television season started, and has stayed at the top of the ratings chart since it aired. And rightfully so. It’s well written, the cliffhanger endings are great and each episode features one of the leading ladies in a bra or bikini, earning it the top spot on the Tivo list. Life is great again for these girls, and they should totally be in love with one another for their combined success (and by "be in love", I mean that they should totally have a pillow fight and then make out in a hot tub).
But the ladies of Wisteria Lane got caught up in the hype, obviously forgetting they were unemployed for a majority of the last ten years. As soon as the credits rolled after the first show, the housewives got catty, bitching about lines and who got to wear what on (and off) the show. The infighting came to a head recently during a cover photo shoot for Vanity Fair magazine. Hatcher, professionally punctual, arrived at wardrobe and got dressed for the shoot. Cross and Longoria, arriving later with their publicists and assistants, pitched a ridiculous fit when they found out that Hatcher got her outfit first. Lots of screaming, lots of crying. In the end, they all smiled long enough for the camera to click, but it’s obvious that these neighbors aren’t going to get along.
Whether the other girls like it or not, Hatcher is the star of the show. Her name is the most recognized out of the bunch. She’s a hottie. And she fucked Superman! The rest are co-stars, and they can yell and scream all they want, but they shouldn’t let their egos get out of control. Hell, for a couple of ladies who haven’t had jobs in awhile, these douche bags shouldn’t have egos to begin with. On Eva’s last soap opera job, writers sent here away to prison for life. Marcia Cross’ writers gave her a brain tumor. So learn to get along ladies, cause it's along way back to Melrose Place, and Heather Locklear could easily have your job next season.
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