Gotta Go Go

George Michael is tired of all the media attention. He’s tired of being a celebrity.

So he called a press conference.

To announce he's going to disappear.

And to announce his new movie.

A movie entirely about him.

The co-creator of Wham! and the only man to successfully pair jelly bracelets with a five o’clock shadow, is quitting the biz that actually quit him about ten years ago. "It's never suited me very well, the business of media and celebrity," Michael said AT HIS PRESS CONFERENCE. "Now I just find it unbearable."

Michael also blames the popularity of pop bands who churn out silly hooks and too many songs about sex as the reason for his distaste for celebrity. "Nobody want to hear about politics, or any kind of strong ideas in pop any more," whined the singer who’s list of hits includes Wake Me Up Before You Go Go and I Want Your Sex.

Michael’s last run in the spotlight came after being caught on the wrong side of a glory hole in a public restroom. After lots of Letterman jokes and a few headlines in the National Enquirer, he did disappear from the media’s spotlight. Ten years later, the douche bag comes back from obscurity…standing before the media…to tell them that he doesn’t want anymore attention…except for his movie about himself…and the musical he hopes to write and make into a major motion picture. Other than that, no more attention. None. He’s disappearing. For good this time. Again. No one is sure if he really means it this time. But you gotta have faith.